The Rulebook

Please use the comment section below as a space to share what you think should be included in the “Relationship and Texting” Rulebook.

List your favorite dos/don’ts, tips, theories, hypothesis etc!

You can use these as inspiration: or

You can post anonymously (although it would be great for my research if you left me your name), but please write your age and gender in your comment!

Also, feel free to use this space to leave any other thoughts on the topic or comments/criticism  (but please include your name (optional), age and gender!



10 thoughts on “The Rulebook

  1. A ‘mercy’ word or term should be agreed upon between couples in a relationship that essentially saves any downward spiraling text miscommunications. As in, after several back-and-forth texts if one person feels that they aren’t able to express themselves sufficiently and feels that the other is misinterpreting, this ‘mercy’ term should be applied to instantly put the text communication to an end and have a phone conversation ensue, to avoid further damage.

  2. For me I think the biggest turn off when texting a guy (or anyone really) is when they use “text grammar”, that shouldn’t be a thing and you’re not going to impress me by asking “how r u?”. Especially when you’re getting to know someone, short form shows that you aren’t invested and are trying deal with the text as quickly as possible. It makes me think you’re too stupid to know how to spell “are” or “you”.

    Also, as a girl, I don’t think there is any shame in being the first to text a guy, even if you texted last, it shows that you’re interested (boys have feeling too, I think). Sometimes I’ll catch myself texting someone first for the past few times we’ve talked then I decide to not text them until they text me, one time this ended up in us not talking ever again which was very telling that that guy was not interested. It’s all about a balance.

    (female, 20)

  3. Personally, I think that communication through text messaging is always flawed, as you are missing some crucial elements of communication – facial expressions and body language. It should not be used as a main means for conversation between partners, but rather a useful way to quickly establish plans, confirm details, say hello, etc.

    Partners should not excessively text each other while either is out with friends or family, as it will diminish their social experience, and one partner may not be fully invested in the back and forth texting, resulting in awkwardness, misunderstanding or poor conversation.

    (female, 22)

  4. I think it’s easy to get wrapped up in a texting conversation, and sometimes have the wait time between texts consume you (depending on the subject matter being discussed in the messages). So, I’d say to always remember that everyone is living their life while they’re texting you (whether it’d be at work, at school, etc.) It’s key not to make assumptions about what the other person is doing or thinking, because that’ll drive you crazy.

    Oh and save the good stuff for face-to-face interactions.

  5. If you drop a grade A pun and she responds with ‘haha’ or ‘lol’, ball and bounce. If she takes the pun and runs, get down and stay down.

  6. I have no tips when it comes to texting because I rarely take it seriously. In fact I am notoriously known to text without expression and I am very direct. I think without the physical presence of whom you are talking to it is difficult to express what you truly want to say. Being unable to read someone’s physical response and the situation presented actually gives me anxiety. I have tried expressing myself through emoji’s and text acronyms but the only truest expression I can see in my iphone is the reflection of my face after I shut it off.

  7. 1. DO NOT have “text fights” because that is some whack-ass, middle school shit. We have phones, they make phone calls. When you “fight” over text, you will likely say things you would never dare say to the person’s face so just quit it, grow a pair and call the person to properly end the confrontation. Alternatively just send them something lol-worthy like “listen, I’m sorry I inter-raged about the cat vom on the living room carpet. lezzbe friends again?” Feel free to add emoji for emphasis on feeling like a dumb middle schooler for text fighting.

    2. DO sext. At school or work all day and missing your snug buddy? Nothing like receiving a naughty message to get you through the day. Whether cute, sexy or just all around raunchy, it feels good to say “I wanna fuck you later” no matter how you word it. Plus, it’ll make your buddy that much more stoked to see your sweet tush later in the evening.

    3. DO NOT send naked photos via the interwebz/texting. Just don’t. Literally, DON’T DO IT. The internet is a virtual wonderland and you do not want to be someone’s virtual ride. The photos might never come back to haunt you, if your guy or gal is a decent human being, BUT, and this is a big but(t), we all have our rage moments and you don’t want to be someone’s revenge cocktail!!!!

  8. 1. no fighting over text — you might get too worked up and say something bad and it LINGERS THERE IN THAT TEXT CONVO FOREVER

    2. don’t answer promptly for a while then suddenly stop answering. this tends to happen to me when i’m stoned. it makes her very upset 😦

    3. don’t say very meaningful things i.e. ” i love you” too often because they lose meaning

    4. try not to have really important convo’s over text altogether because there is a lot of room for misinterpretation

    5. don’t play games! you are no longer courting. text her when you feel like it!

    6. send her a text in the morning sometimes so she knows you thought of her when you woke

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